Fall is right around the corner, I can smell it. Just a shy two weeks away from today the calendar pages will officially turn a new shade of a new season. As most who know me realize, this is my favorite time of year. There is something about the cooler weather after overwhelming days of heat that puts a new bounce in my step. Perhaps I love Fall because it represents for many a time of change, slowing down, and reflection. Granted, life really does not ever seem to slow down, but this time of year definitely makes me wish that it did! This Fall in particular signals for me the approach of many new things ahead. Lord willing, come the beginning of this New Year, I will be stepping away from full-time work to pursue increasing our family as well as investing in it. For some time now I have known that God has not given me the conviction for a career – quite the opposite in fact, I believe He is calling me forward to set it aside for this period in my life to invest in a future generation and into a family life that I myself went much of my early and adolescent years without.
Sounds easy! Not so much. In fact, I am quickly discovering that very few people will probably even understand this, let alone accept it. To the employer, it just doesn’t make logical or financial sense to ask for a reduction in hours or resign from a job altogether just to stay at home to have a family or be a better support system for your husband. If there was another job to go to, a move, or even a serious health issue, those are all much more widely accepted than the latter that is viewed as lazy, a lack of ambition, or simply just an excuse. Come December or January, it will not be easy to sit down face-to-face and do just this. As if that were not difficult enough, employers are not the only ones with their opinions. Sometimes the well intentioned advice or opinion of those closest to us can hurt the most. Many who are educated themselves or have gone on to have graduated from college see it as a huge loss of potential. I have been told that I am selling myself short or that I don’t have any follow-through, that I can’t finish things and that in a sense, I’m choosing to fail. I can’t tell you how many tears have flown freely just in the past week over these very beliefs that have been thrown at me. What in the world is so wrong with a woman wanting to make her top priority and vocation her family??? Long ago, back before the women’s lib movement, it used to be the norm. Now, it’s just the unaccepted and I find that unacceptable. God never promised us that when we choose to obey Him, the road would be paved for us or without obstacles. For me, these are just a few of the obstacles that a decision like this holds. I stand firm that the Lord is beckoning me down this road. If we stop long enough to look around us, families and marriages are falling and being torn apart because everyday people choose to chase after themselves rather than chase after a God who has run after them so hard that He crossed the pain of the cross to get to us. God’s ways are not the world’s ways. His ways don’t seek to make us look better or make us more accepted, more educated, or more successful. He doesn’t call us to something so that we can boast about our own abilities or our own accomplishments and seek recognition for them. He calls us out so that others can see Him. Actually, I’m beginning to discover that the more we choose to follow Him, the more we will stand out of the crowd like a sore thumb, which can be miserably uncomfortable.
With all this said – there is great joy and peace in going God’s way. Despite all the criticism and all the doubt of many around me, my heart is at peace. I rest knowing that I have a God that is bigger than it all and a God who is very much in control. In a sense, I’m going to be taking the road less traveled by, as Robert Frost once wrote, and I do believe that will make all the difference in the world because I believe that following the Lord makes all the difference, period.
Sounds easy! Not so much. In fact, I am quickly discovering that very few people will probably even understand this, let alone accept it. To the employer, it just doesn’t make logical or financial sense to ask for a reduction in hours or resign from a job altogether just to stay at home to have a family or be a better support system for your husband. If there was another job to go to, a move, or even a serious health issue, those are all much more widely accepted than the latter that is viewed as lazy, a lack of ambition, or simply just an excuse. Come December or January, it will not be easy to sit down face-to-face and do just this. As if that were not difficult enough, employers are not the only ones with their opinions. Sometimes the well intentioned advice or opinion of those closest to us can hurt the most. Many who are educated themselves or have gone on to have graduated from college see it as a huge loss of potential. I have been told that I am selling myself short or that I don’t have any follow-through, that I can’t finish things and that in a sense, I’m choosing to fail. I can’t tell you how many tears have flown freely just in the past week over these very beliefs that have been thrown at me. What in the world is so wrong with a woman wanting to make her top priority and vocation her family??? Long ago, back before the women’s lib movement, it used to be the norm. Now, it’s just the unaccepted and I find that unacceptable. God never promised us that when we choose to obey Him, the road would be paved for us or without obstacles. For me, these are just a few of the obstacles that a decision like this holds. I stand firm that the Lord is beckoning me down this road. If we stop long enough to look around us, families and marriages are falling and being torn apart because everyday people choose to chase after themselves rather than chase after a God who has run after them so hard that He crossed the pain of the cross to get to us. God’s ways are not the world’s ways. His ways don’t seek to make us look better or make us more accepted, more educated, or more successful. He doesn’t call us to something so that we can boast about our own abilities or our own accomplishments and seek recognition for them. He calls us out so that others can see Him. Actually, I’m beginning to discover that the more we choose to follow Him, the more we will stand out of the crowd like a sore thumb, which can be miserably uncomfortable.
With all this said – there is great joy and peace in going God’s way. Despite all the criticism and all the doubt of many around me, my heart is at peace. I rest knowing that I have a God that is bigger than it all and a God who is very much in control. In a sense, I’m going to be taking the road less traveled by, as Robert Frost once wrote, and I do believe that will make all the difference in the world because I believe that following the Lord makes all the difference, period.
(A slight disclaimer: We are not expecting yet, just beginning to take steps away from the workforce in anticipation for that period. However, don't worry, when we are there will be a big announcement with a lot of excitement!!)
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5 comments:
Kristy,
You are right. We cannot let others chose the path that makes the most sense to them for us to follow. What works for them, probably will not work the best for us. We are only to do what God is calling us individually to do, and must be careful not to project that same on others.
Your admiring husband, Michael
Kristy, As one who has traveled the road that you are about to travel, I have to say I agree wholeheartedly! The blessings that will be yours will be many - too numerous to count! You can count on me to be there cheering you on.
With all my love and support,
Bev
Kristy! Are you announcing that you're pregnant?!? Being a stay-at-home mom is the best thing in the whole world! And believe me, more women do it than the mass media is willing to admit. There will be days of cabin fever, but Michael sounds like the kind of dad that will be able to take baby responsibilities when you need some time out. Congratulations???
Kristy,
As I said before, I think it is wonderful that you are given this opportunity to make your career your family. As a child of a stay-at-home mother and working dad, I have experienced those blessings that my mom could give us and I am a better person for it. I admire your strength and courage. When you are made a mother, I am certain you will be a great one and will have much to offer your children!
Krista :)
Sarah -
Not yet!! It's our desire that this would be the case in the near future, but we are not expecting as of yet! We are just organizing our life in such a way that we will be prepared for when it does happen!
Thanks for your comments!
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