Scribe's Landing . . . Writing To Encourage

I found out Sunday that my biological mother is loosing her battle with cancer. She has at most six weeks left, and it's been nearly three years since last I've seen her. Partly by her choosing, partly due to circumstance, partly by my own choosing. Worst yet, I doubt that she is a Christian, and even more, doubt my ability to share with her. I guess for me - it all boils down to forgiveness. We all like to think that we are ready and willing to forgive - at least that is the case for me. I tend to like to think that I do forgive, have forgiven, and will forgive. Yet - faced with six weeks, knowing that is exactly what she needs, knowing that is exactly what she is looking for from me, I doubt my ability to do that very thing. Being God with skin on to family members is so much more difficult than it is if the person staring back at you were a complete stranger - it's easier to forgive when it's less personal.

But that is where Faith comes in for me. I doubt all this - because I stare at it all so easily through my own ability. God's word reminds us that in our own ability, we can do nothing, but in Christ we can do all things through Him who strengthens us. I don't physically see God strengthening me. I feel Him doing so. In the past, in all that I've known, God has never been less than faithful to answer when I call. In the present, He will do the same. His word says that if we seek wisdom, He'll give it. I seek it now. I seek His grace, and His strength, to stand in front of my past this weekend and truly forgive it all, to let it go, to have those hands that let go and let God be the God He always has been, is, and always will be.

This circumstance is foreign, but God who is in it is all too familiar, and I'm so very thankful for that.