Impatience par Excellence

Today I just itch for change. Oh I want it so bad! Needless to say, today is not one of those days I feel myself handling this waiting period very well. If I could, I would reach out and grab whatever it is that we’ve been looking for and move on. Not just move on, mind you. I would high-tail it, run as fast as I can, get out of town kind of move on. These days my dialogue with God goes something much like this;

Me: God, I’m super ready to move on

God: You think so?

Me: Oh yea, I know so!

God: It’s not time yet

Me: Time?? What time?? I’ve been waiting for two years now God!

God: This makes no difference, I know what’s best.

Me: But God, I’m so ready!

God: No, you’re not. just not yet.

Me: Please, I’ll do anything!

God: Wait.

And there you have it. Fact of the matter is, I am prepared to do anything at this point but wait. Waiting is so wearisome, so frustrating, so…..mundane. If I could do anything else but wait, oh how I wish I could. You see, gut-level honesty here – my impatience is par excellence. Patience – uhm, not so good. You would think that somewhere along the road I would have learned this vital lesson, would have acquired it at some point along the journey. I’m discovering that patience isn’t just something you pick-up once and never have to battle again. Patience is so laced together with the journey its self that I don’t think the two can really be separated. They are extensions of each other. Patience is just part of the journey. It's an absolute intrinsic value that is non-negotiably needed along every step of the way. Patience to me is simply hope in it's active form. I was reminded of this little prayer today, it’s my heart cry for the here and now.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy
with Him Forever in the next.
Amen.

~Reinhold Niebuhr

IF I surrender to His will. IF. Oh Lord, give me the strength to wait, give me the patience!


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Kristy,

I agree. Patience is very hard to learn and live during the time. I believe God has a great plan for you some day and that day is right around the corner. Someday, we will look back on this time and say "wow we learned alot during that time." Until then, we can enjoy the now together.

Michael

Sarah said...

I think I'm more of a "that's not fair" person. Sometimes I think I have the short end of the stick & sometimes I think it's not fair that I don't. Life is just crazy, but I'm sure once it's all over we'll understand just how amazing God's vision was. Hang in there! Loves!

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