And the Wait is On!
The most I can say is that it’s been quite a waiting period, yet another time of refinement. This is handled at times more gracefully than others. It’s a season where I am aware more than anything of God’s desire for my obedience – even in the mundane. He wants me to dig my heels in and persevere – trusting Him for the things I cannot yet see. Quite honestly, this is probably the most stable period my life has ever known. I used to long for such stability with everything that was in me – and now that I’m walking in it, well, it’s unsettling, simply hard to just accept – if that makes any sense?? I am so used to be unsettled that I have no idea how to handle the even pace of a steady day-to-day life and to well, rest and remain. At every other time in my life it was just easier to move on to the next new thing – either because I did not have a choice, or because God was urging me forward. Now, He wants me to STOP.
Currently, I am going through a wonderful bible study written by Beth Moore on the 15 Psalms of Accent. In one of our lessons we learned of the crippled beggar at the temple gate beautiful in Jerusalem, who would sit day-in and day-out begging for whatever someone might hand him. Who knows how long he had been there. As two of the disciples were walking through the gate on their way to the temple to worship, the beggar requested of them the same thing he requested of anyone else I would imagine. Only this time the disciples told him to look at them first. God had planned for that man to receive healing, to get up and freely walk away by himself, uninhibited and unbroken, but before he could do so, he had to first refocus and change where he was looking. It was almost as if his first request was made without any anticipation at all – perhaps just a shamed side glance, or maybe not even that, perhaps it was simply his eyes looked to the ground in defeat. I found it so interesting that he was specifically told to look at the disciples face to face – and for him, that made all the difference. That’s recapped as much as I can with my main point being I am this man right now! And, if I’m honest, have been for quite some time. In order to be ready to get up and walk, I need a shift in direction from where I have been looking to God Himself, and in the STOP period right now, He’s been revealing that to me and so much more. His ways are always right, His timing always perfect, and heaven knows, I need to get out of His way so that He can accomplish His will in and through me. These thoughts are what press on my constantly, even at work, and I have found it is just too exhausting trying to fight Him. He is in hot pursuit of something, and so even when it’s hard, I’m simply trying to obey Him by stopping and resting in this waiting period so that He can change me.
3:05 PM
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