Knowing Christ is an awesome privilege. It’s not uncommon to talk about faith, to talk about believing, even to say that we believe, but sadly, many of us don’t live out our lives as though we truly do believe on Jesus Christ. I can’t help but think that if more of us lived out our faith with acknowledgement that we have the very same power that raised Christ from the grave living in us, then it would be impossible not to see the transformation that awareness brings. Belief is much, much more than a mere mental agreement. Belief and faith, when in conjunction with Christ, goes much deeper. To believe is to be trusting, convicted, and relying – all very much action verbs. As Kay Arthur puts it, “genuine faith implies some sort of action or change as a result of your belief." This leads me to ask myself – have I allowed Christ to change me? I so want to step out of the arena of doubt into Christ’s robe, where my weakness is exchanged for his strength. He provided the way for me to do just that – through his sacrificial lamb, his son, who died and rose again to bridge the gap into eternity. All that’s required – that I die to myself. Perhaps living out belief is so very hard because our flesh is so very greedy. It gets in the way and pulls us farther away from the one who loves us more than anything. Sin clouds our vision, but it doesn’t remove Christ. He’s still there for us, if we take the steps in obedience to fall into his arms without reserve. It’s not impossible, as long we are living in his power, in his strength, instead of our own. R.A. Torrey said this of belief, “That is one of the many good things about believing on Jesus Christ, it puts us on praying ground, it puts us in the place where we may go to God in every time of need and get from Him the very thing that we need and ask for. I would rather be on praying ground, rather be in such a relation to God that He can and will answer my prayers, than to have the combined wealth of a hundred Rockefellers. Times will come in the life of every one of us sooner or later when no earthly friend can help us, and no amount of wealth can help us; but the time will never come when God cannot help us and deliver us completely.” 
Chapter Five Complete!Beautiful, Absolutely Beautiful!
It’s hard to believe it’s November, and even more, I can hardly believe it’s nearly seventy degrees outside and my windows are still open! Falls in Kansas are rare. Usually we only enjoy about a month or two of the cool breezed sunshine until old man Winter rears his ugly head and blazes through the doors, freezing everything in his path, including me! In fact, I still have a hydrangea bloom outside. I love it! Here’s a link to a wonderful thought for the day. Hope you enjoy!
http://www.hutchcraft.com/a-word-with-you/your-most-important-relationship/beauty-from-brokenness-5948
Today however, has been a day full of the nitty-gritty. Editing, research, blog updates, etc. I'm praying for wisdom and perseverance, as this is just the beginning of a long process, quite foreign to me. I invite you all to share this journey with me by praying for me along the way. Thanks for "landing" here and I'll keep writing!
"As for me and my house, We will Serve the Lord"
"Her priests do violence to my law and profane my holy things; they do not distinguish between the holy and the common; they teach that there is no difference between the unclean and the clean; and they shut their eyes to the keeping of my Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them." ~Ezekiel 22:29
My dear friends, I am so encouraged today, despite all that is swimming around in my head - encouraged because I have been deeply challenged by God's word, by His people, by His presence in my life that will not relent from seeing me refined and changed more into His image. Do I, Kristy, really, truly serve the Lord? Even more, what is service to God to look like in day to day living? Can I truly say that as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord? Today I finished a 6-week precept study on Ezekiel, specifically God's call and challenge to Ezekiel to judge his bloody nation, the house of Israel. Israel at this time had grown corrupt and perverse - knee deep in all sorts of sins that are not uncommon to us, to our nation, or to our own lives, today. Among the many sins, there was a lack of respect for father and mother, oppression, idol worship, adultery, murder, slander, bribes, acts of lewdness, incest, dishonest gains, and the list goes on and on. In comparison, the book of Ezekiel could have been talking about America today, although it was aimed specifically at the Nation of Israel. The book of Ezekiel is an uncomfortable book for most to look at and equate not only to our nation, but to our individual lives and churches today. It is a book that calls us to examine all that is sin against God, to repent of it and turn to God, to hate the things God hates, and in a greater sense, to see God not just as a God of love and mercy, which He is, but also as a God of wrath, which He also must be. Through this six-week study I became keenly aware of our need to see God in the totality of His being, in His sovereignty, and to stop boxing Him in a package that we find more to our personal likings or in a way that seeks to justify our actions. Do I take God at His word - not just parts of it, but all of it? Does God really have standards that are black and white and not open for discussion? What once was wrong and unacceptable to one society is it right in our society today? We know God doesn't change, but does our culture change how we should view certain standards for living? God's word beautifully answers all of this better than I ever could; "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." ~ Isaiah 5:5.
According to God's standards, to His word, evil and good does not change. Sin will always still be sin, even if we choose to disassociate ourselves from it by calling it something less harsh, something that sounds altogether different, like calling a lie (which Satan is the father of) a mere stretching of the truth. Or, as Elizabeth Elliot states; "sin seems to mean little more than a personal problem of adjustment. This makes it almost impossible for people even to hear what God says."
God seeks an undivided heart, a heart that is sold-out to Him, a heart that fully believes Him, a heart committed to doing His will, even if it's hard, unpopular, or requires tremendous sacrifice. After all, He paid the ultimate penalty - all He requires of us is our belief in Him and our obedience. Yet we doubt as individuals, we doubt as a church, we doubt as a nation, and we rationalize ourselves away from real truth that is set before us in His precepts by our own clouded thinking and judgements. We simply disregard who He says He is, what He says He will do, what He says He hates. God loves the sinner, but He hates the sin. Divorce, adultery, pornography, lies, murder, hate, gossip, false prophesy, abortion, dishonest gain, gluttony, it's all the same to Him. God doesn't rate our sin on a scale of 1-10, with ten being worse than one, sin is simply that - sin. My sin as a liar ranks right up there with the man who killed ten people in cold blood - or, if I have lust in my heart for another other than my husband, it's as if I committed adultery in my heart against Him. Sin, according to Ezekiel, pollutes the land. Sin hurts people, but more, it pains the heart of God. Let it not be said of us that God could not find in us a person who would stand up for his principles and fill the gap - to be ones that are willing to say the hard things and to pray and intercede so that we would repent, and we would turn to God. Not a half-turn, but a full 360 degrees in the direction of the Lord. I also pray for a renewed love and passion for God's word. How can we possibly know what sin, according to God is, unless we are in His word for ourselves. A growing number of believers only know God by word of mouth - from regurgitated lessons and studies, than what they have experienced of Him for themselves through actual personal study of God's word. I know, because I've been there. Pray with me that we would be ones who can truly say, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Let us be ones that choose to be salt and light in a society that has become increasingly more full of the black and greys.
A Waiting Hope
"God has given us both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can take new courage, for we can hold on to his promise with confidence. This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain of heaven into God's inner sanctuary."
Some of the fondest memories I have of my time spent on board the Caribbean Mercy were the nights I would meander up onto our boat deck during our 2-3 day long sails out at sea. I would stand on the edge gazing straight up at a star-filled sky while salt mists would spray my face. It fascinated me that the ship cut so effortlessly through the ocean's waves and currents. The ocean's water was never as brilliant as it was during those sails at night, when the darkness of the water would sparkle with the iridescent creatures that made their home there, visible only in the night when the ship's bow would slice the waters apart and churn the water so perfectly that one could glimpse a bit of the life occupying it's vastness. During those moments I was keenly aware of just how small I was, just how powerful God is, and in awe as my heavenly father would embrace me in the simplicity of what He created. Somehow in those moments my heart didn't feel so broken, and I didn't feel so lost.
That was nearly 8 years ago now, so hard to believe. God has had me on a journey ever since, really, long before that even, and the road from broken to whole has been one of patience and waiting. There are times that hope seemed a far stretch from reality. Anyone who has ever experienced the pain of a broken heart and brokenness in general knows why God calls us to guard it - it really is true that our heart is the well spring of life. When it breaks, it's almost as if you shatter in pieces from the inside out. It's an emotional pain so intense that it's felt physically, in every sense imaginable or unimagined. But, it is also true that God draws near to the broken-hearted. In those moments, hours, days, years after the initial break I felt God's presence in ways I could never have dreamed of. There was never a moment that I walked that road alone - God showed Himself in some of the most amazing and awesome ways. He truly was an anchor for my soul, and He remains so today.
To be honest, I'm not sure what God is up to these days. I know He is moving, yet, I'm one that likes to see everything line up in a just so ideal and perfect way. I want to see things happen, not piece by piece or step by step, but, all at once. In other words, I want the whole package. As my husband would say, I want it spelled out in the sky so there is no question I'll miss it. I'm bad, horribly bad, at waiting. It's not our human nature to wait, and patience is one thing that God continually has me practicing. The opportunities He has been presenting to me lately are at times overwhelming and beyond what I feel I can emotionally handle. God is calling me to tap into all those past moments when everything around me seemed to crumble - all those years that seemed spent in ashes He now wants me to pick up and allow Him to restore and use for His glory. God is asking me to share, open and honestly, with those that are hurting and needing hope in their lives. I have prayed for these opportunities for years, prayed that God would use me to encourage those that are in desperate need of Him, yet, now that it seems God is beginning to move, I stand at the threshold of His plans trembling. There are days that the vulnerability such openness requires has me taxed and stretched far beyond what is comfortable or safe emotionally. He is calling me to comfort those as He has comforted me. God's call is both exhilarating yet frightening all at once. In some sense, I feel like an Abraham not quite sure where I am going yet called to go, and in another, much like Moses - feeling as if I'm completely inadequate and ill-equipped for the task at hand. This, however, couldn't be further from the truth. God's word clearly states that He enables, He equips, He calls, He strengthens, He protects. He simply IS. God has been my refuge and as the scripture states above, I can take new courage today and hold onto His promise with confidence. Not self confidence - but confidence in Christ. He is faithful. He always has been, He always will be. My only prayer is that I would remain one who has the faith to believe that God will open the right doors in His timing, and that I would recognize Him when He shows up, and even more importantly, that I would have the strength to obey. He is the anchor of my soul. To me, today, this resonates so deeply within me that I know when I feel that tremble of fear set in or that shadow of doubt attempt to sift me like sand in water, I can know that I have feet planted in a foundation that is unshakable, Christ. As I wait, today, and tomorrow, and for all the days ahead, I can rest in the assurance that God is my cornerstone, He is my anchor, my ever-present help in time of need. God is the hope that I have. May He keep me humble, my heart tender, and my eyes open to allow Him to use me in whatever capacity He desires, that He may receive all the Glory and Praise for a life restored and used by Him.
WHEW!!
Ok - so you may (or may not) be asking why the lag in posting? Well, December was simply a whirlwind of change and transition, of which I am still attempting to settle into. It began late in November when after much thought and prayer, I gave my notice at work. I had been with the company for nearly 4 1/2 years and it had proved to be steady, comfortable, secure. However, many aspects of my job had nothing to do with who God made me or what He was calling me towards. As a result, it was not long before burn-out set in. More and more I felt I was running in the opposite direction of where I felt God pulling me to be and the longer I held out, the more miserable I felt. It was a relief to finally give my notice, and even more a relief to know I had the full support and blessing of those that I worked with. God was so good!
Then came the winds of change like a roaring, uncontrollable gust that can be both exhilerating and frightening all at once. Early in Decemeber Michael and I became owners of our very first home! Everything we had prayed for and more came rolling to us in a humbling and quick set of transactions which floored us beyound what I can articulate right now. All I can say is that the price the Lord gave the house to us for was nearly 19,000 below the appraised price and well below what the asking price had been. Just when we thought a roadbump was emminent, the doors swung wide. Mortgage rates fell, we were able to lay nearly a 1/3 of the price down making us exempt from mortgage insurance, and the inspection went more smoothly than we could have expected for a home that was over 50 years old. Our home's condition is fantastic - save some cosemetic help which we gave it in the two weeks prior to our move-in date. Work was long, hard, and at times frustrating but so worth it! On Dec. 30th we moved in and are becoming more and more settled each day. Last Friday was my official last day at my job and I was ushered out completely humble by the caliber of people that I got to work with, who are now very good friends.
So - what's next? I ask myself this almost daily. My heart's desire would be that within this next year Michael and I could begin our own family. I have played around with the idea of part-time work until that time, but am also praying that I would fill my time with the things that most glorify God - whether that be volunteer opportunities at the church, other ministry options, or, writing. I thank God for this period, albeit very unfamiliar to me and way beyound my comfort zone. I am simply trying to trust Him for His best - not what I think is best. There is more to life than the security a steady pay check brings or the satisfaction of job success - there is something more eternal that God has set my heart on and it may take this time of quiet and solitude for God to get a hold of me in a way that I can clearly hear his voice and obey. Sometimes I think that's the very reason it's so much easier to fill our lives with noise, clutter, and ceaseless activity. Being quiet and waiting can be hard, and then - hearing his voice can at times be painful as He continues to carry out the process of refining us more into His image. In all reality, I'm a rusty vessle that needs chipped away at and pruning in order to be used by Him in the way He intends. I'm excited for the process, but whew - am I ever glad that His word promises us that through our weaknesses He is made strong. May God get all the glory through this time of transition, change, growth, and uncertainty. He alone is the alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. And, my friends, He's not done yet!
